When is a travel blog not a travel blog?

Answer - when you are not travelling!

We have finally arrived at our - for now - final destination.

We have now arrived at my sisters apartment near Bodrum in Turkey, where we have winter use of a really nice place in a small complex, swimming pool, balcony/verandah, and STUNNING sunsets. This is a particularly good stroke of luck, as Luda and I are both sunset people. We both switch modes at sunset, a transition made ever more pleasurable by a fabulous display of nature, themed in orange and red, with many textures of cloud and climate in between.

We have only been here a week and we have had probably 50% of sunsets worth watching in their entirety - an experience which takes on average about an hour, accompanied by maybe our first drink, and for a particularly excellent sunset....a smoke.

Tonight however was all grey, with just a passing interest in mauve, but unworthy of total commitment! So we prepared food, and I decided to blog.

So we are now temporary residents of the town of Gulluk near Bodrum, Turkey. The van is parked outside like a discarded toy. Our home and spaceship for three months.....and suddenly we are in a real building - with lashings of hot water, two bathrooms and a fully fitted kitchen. I don't know whether the van feels glad of the rest, or abandoned and forlorn. Such is the bullshit emotion that a man can feel for a vehicle!

Gradually we have moved our stuff from the van to the apartment, on a need it, go and get it basis. Including my big stereo system, that I have been lugging all over Europe in the boot.

It comprises two heavy old school 1980 Wharfedale speakers, each one so heavy I can barely lift it, and as tall as my waist, and a similar vintage Denon hi-fi amplifier. All of which I bought on Ebay for a song. But the setup in highest of the highest Fi. Both items are revered collectors items. In fact I learnt about them and acquired them thanks to a friend in Berlin who asked me to buy some in england, where they are unrecognised and ridiculously cheap, to Berlin, where they sell for hundreds of euros.

Equipment of this era is robust, and the quality sublime. I carry it because a. I can, and b. It's nice to have the means on hand for an instant party, should the opportunity present. Which it has.....perhaps three times in as many years, but all belters! I remember getting out the system at new years eve year before last, to have an impromptu party in a Moroccan petrol station down in the Sahara. And again, just for the hell of it, parked on a Portuguese Atlantic cliff top.....another fine sunset.

So to have the hi-fi system out and in its natural environment of a nice lounge is bliss. It's scratched to hell, but still sounds good, despite the Ukrainian roads.

I look forward to this interlude to further polish my DJ skills, which I have let slide this last few years travelling.

Anyway.......Gulluk! Crazy name crazy place!

My sister came out here for a holiday a few years ago, and somehow ended up buying the place, even though it hadn't been built yet - she bought it "off plan" as they say in the high pressure world of real estate.

I remember raising my eyebrows when I heard what she'd done, but it was none of my business, and although she had a fair few problems in the building, legal and administration, and in the middle of it all, the credit crunch, the reality is that she has a nice place in a nice place.

It may not turn out to be the investment originally envisioned, but it is and always will be - a nice place in a nice place!

The town is still a functioning fishing port, the scenery is lovely, and the local government, despite giving foreign holiday home owners a bit of a runaround, seem to be steering a decent middle course between obscene over-development and maintaining some local identity. I have seen many nice little coastal towns ruined by tourism, but in this one the locals and the tourists and the retired expats seem to live shoulder by shoulder with dignity, and sometimes crazy fun!

To be honest, it's not really my scene, but on the other hand, we are happy and privileged to be given the opportunity to rest here a while, and plan the next stage of our adventure.

But what I am really enjoying, is getting into Turkish culture. Ever since we arrived we have felt relaxed, even though we are both starting from scratch with Turkey.

The people are polite, authority, for tourists at least, seems to be unobtrusive. The roads are reasonable to good, and the infrastructure is pretty good. Everything works....to a point. We have been beset by occasional power cuts and internet outages, but not to the point of disappointment.

But what I really like about the place, is that it is vibrant. Businesses are open late, and are integrated with social life. People hang about, children play and everybody knows each other. So many times I have gone into a shop or business, and if they don't speak any english, they soon locate someone who will willingly translate, even if on the end of a cellphone!

It reminds me of Morocco, and they have a lot in common, but with subtle differences. Both countries are notionally Muslim, but allow and even welcome, western influence. I like moderate Muslim countries - they are a fascinating combination of alcohol and tea drinking establishments and people, many of whom cross the line according to their whim - -they have the best of both worlds!

I have had some fascinating conversations already - about the differences between Istanbul and the coast, West Turkey versus East Turkey, The Kurds, Iran...and of course the tourists!

It is truly the gateway to the east.

So here we will stay for a couple of months.

Where next? We both have 3 month visas, and when they expire at the end of December, we either need to renew and stay, or move on.

We have two or three tentative plans, of which the most likely is to go back to Morocco, where I have friends and contacts, and the smell of business opportunity. But it's a long drive to the Sahara from here. 7000km, which will take a month, assuming we can get the relevant visas.

We shall see.

So blogs will be less frequent.............maybe!

The picture is of our best sunset so far...........

4 seasons in one day!

I can't order or caption the photos, so work it out! There is no Autumn photo......

4 Seasons in one day.........

Autumn

We drove across the Turkish central plain, the earth bare, the crops spent, and the leaves turning brown. A constant drizzle from a grey sky. Definitely Autumn.

Winter

Then we reached the mountains, spiralling up into the clouds, crawling round the hairpins with the trucks. What a shock to see snow hitting the windscreen, pushing through the slush in low gear. Pine trees dusted with white. Snow camouflaged on white marble. And cold!! Brrrr.....

Spring

Then a long descent, easy on the brakes, out of the clouds, and onto a plateau. Green trees bursting out, not a hint of brown, deep blue sky, fluffy clouds and a fresh breeze. Could have been Snowdonia in May.

Summer

Turning off heaters, and peeling off clothes, a kiss for the first one to see the sea! Our first sight of the Aegean. So blue! Not Black. Summer still in full swing. A salty swim in the clear blue Aegean sea.

Food and wine, and asleep to the gentle sound of the van creaking and settling back down after it's exertions. When you live in a vehicle, you become one with it.

All in one day!

Turkey is looking and feeling good.

Cappadocia.......world heritage site.

I'm not going to bore you with a bog standard tourist blog about Cappadocia. All the details are here.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cappadocia

But in a sentence.....It is a region in Turkey where weird geology and erosion have produced a truly amazing landscape.

It is also a UNESCO World Heritage Site, which usually is the kiss of death for anywhere interesting, as it is guaranteed to be on the itinerary of every tour operator from Tokyo to Toronto, and indeed we did meet some Canadians and Japanese.

I'm not a fan of mainstream tourism, but hats off to the Turks, they have managed to preserve the site and cater for the tourists with a bit of flair and panache.

I've heard horror stories of other equally ranking places, such as Machu Picchu in Peru, where they literally have to quota the tourists in and out, and Angkor Wat in Cambodia, which has developed so chaotically that a whole shanty town has erupted on its outskirts.

So I was pleasantly surprised to find it not a tourist hell hole. Enough said.

So the interesting things I discovered, as well as the usual stuff, was that the local economy used to be based on bird shit. The rock formations are so soft and the indigenous pigeons so numerous, that the locals carved out pigeon lofts in the rock, with traps underneath, so they could scrape out the shit, which is a fantastic fertiliser. Sometimes called Guano......there used to be mountains of it on remote sea islands, all now raped and pillaged by various empires. Bird shit used to be the best natural fertiliser on the planet.

They also carved out dwellings, but there's nothing special about that, people always use whatever is locally available.

Luda was a bit off colour the first day, so I took to the bike, and by accident found that an off road bike is by far and away the best way to experience this region. It is criss crossed by dirt tracks, and although I am not a serious off road biker, I had an absolute ball.

We found a camp site with an amazing view, and for the first time in months, rubbed shoulders with some long term travellers like ourselves, many of them on their way East - Iran, Pakistan and beyond. Brave souls. One Swiss couple had driven all the way to Ankara to apply for visas for onward travel to Iran, Pakistan, and India, only to be told that they can only apply from Switzerland!!

The next day we took a walk down one of the deeply eroded canyons, and in the evening we saw the sky full of hot air balloons. Ballooning is quite an industry here, the conditions and landscape making for a "once in a life-time experience" for the tourists. Unfortunately the sky was cloudy and the photos didn't turn out, but there are lots on the net.

The souvenir shops were full of quality gear, and half decent prices, although we didn't buy much. Then I found a guy in a shop selling Turkish music CD's. I had a really nice experience with him, telling him what I liked, and asking him to compile what he thought I would like, Turkish Style, based on my description.

I now have a collection of contemporary Turkish style music, which fits in quite nicely with my collection.

We drove out of Cappadocia, World Heritage Site, full of tourists and tour companies, and all that goes with it, with a contented smile, and a respectful nod to the Turkish authorities and the locals.

Ankara and Fat Freddy's Cat

Rather than head for Istanbul, we headed south to Ankara, the idea
being to see if we could get Luda a visa for Morocco.

The drive south was pleasant enough, initially through wooded hills,
eventually reaching the high central plain, and a lovely smooth
motorway to Ankara. Bliss!! The van was purring along like a Rolls
Royce, and we noticed the novelty of being able to hold a conversation
or listen to music on the move.

There is nothing special about Ankara - another city, could have been
anywhere, and we are developing a dislike for cities unless there is
some specific reason.

Ankara is also the home of Angora ....... rabbits goats and
all.....never knew that!

We arrived Saturday afternoon, and I spent a hellish 2 hours in a
Turkish Vodafone shop getting new sim cards for phone and internet.

Without internet, we are blind - no maps, no info, no addresses....so
it's always the first job in a new country. I was in no mood for
bargain hunting, so I just asked for the fastest speed and the biggest
data allowance, as Turkey is a 3G country I was looking forward to
some fast internet and all that entails.

Wrong! It's a joke, slower than Ukraine.....although I will have to
give a few days more, but at least we are online.

The first thing I did was look for a campsite, and found one just
outside town, a small compound behind a 4 star hotel by a lake.

There we met a Swiss couple in a brand new motorhome, at least 50
grands worth. They were also in town for embassies and visas, but they
were headed for Iran, Pakistan and India......brave souls!

Sunday was a rest day, so we lounged about and cleaned up and had a
lovely hot shower, first for days!

Boys and girls, you just know I'm right, but showering as a couple
when you really need it, and emerging all clean and scrubbed,
especially the hard to reach bits......is just one of life's little
pleasures! I'm not talking sexy, just mutual scrubbing, a bit like
cats clean each other. Lovely!

We hadn't had time to shop, and anyway, you have to celebrate a new
country, so we opted for the hotel restaurant, where we had a higher
than average meal, with a lovely view, impeccable service, and a lower
than average bill, about £30 for two. I found this a bit strange, as
the first thing I had noticed about Turkey is that it seems really
expensive - fuel is dear, and supermarket prices are through the roof,
and alcohol very expensive. Yet restaurant prices have been very good
(so far). This was a very nice 4 star hotel charging €50 a night!

Back to business the next morning, for all of 5 minutes! A call to a
very pleasant, but firm, official at the Moroccan embassy confirmed
that Ukrainians can only apply for visas in their home country, unless
they are resident or working officially in Turkey.

This is becoming all to familiar. Ukrainians have it tough on the
international travel scene.

Anyway, we have a plan! In fact we have several. It is becoming quite
a game of cat and mouse, finding the countries that we can visit
together.

So we hit the road, glad to get out of the city, and we are heading
for the famous region of Cappodocia - a region of Turkey with weird
rock formations, underground villages carved out of the rocks, and a
myriad of other geological delights. Google it!

The drive across the boring central plain was unremarkable until we
went over a hill and were presented with a huge salt lake shimmering
in the afternoon sun. It was huge, mile after mile, just salt.....no
water!

The weather is cooler at night, the heating in the van sputtered into
life after a curse and a kick, and Luda is improving her English by
reading a 1976 copy of The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers ........and
tittering in a lovely innocent Ukrainian way.

I'll leave you with that thought, and these images, of the infamous
FFFB's, and their cat........a classic well worth looking up on
t'internet. (Marie - ask you know who for another will you? We have
loved this one, and will cherish and eventually return it)

Turkey at last

So, finally across the Black Sea!

After a day wallowing at anchor, the ship got under way at about 8pm.
We had been told "maybe tomorrow", by
several people, including one horror story from a galley chef, that
once they had been at sea 2 weeks waiting
for weather. Evidently they don't re-dock because of the expense. I
shudder to think of the state of the food
and facilities, and the atmosphere, of 200 truckers marooned at sea
for two weeks!

Anyway, "maybe tomorrow" was wrong, and I was quietly smug at my
ability to read internet weather charts. Big
ships can sail in almost any weather, and the charts indicated 30 knot
winds and 3 metres waves, hardly a storm.
But the winds were from the side. I guessed that the problem wasn't
the safety of the ship, but the safety of
the cargo. There is only a foot of space between each wagon, and they
sway on their suspensions. The ship must
have strict parameters for rolling, otherwise the wagons would sway.
Each wagon weighing 40 tons is only held
down by 4 chains. So I reckoned that with the wind coming from the
side, the Captain wanted 2 meter waves maybe
only 20 knots of wind.

This, according to the internet charts, would occur around midnight,
and steadily improve thereafter.

Sure enough after about 2 hours when we were away from the coast and
into the Black Sea proper, boy did she
start to roll! It was even worse for us, because our suspension is
soft compared to a trucks, and we were
rolling about half as much again as the ship! It was the weirdest
sensation, sitting in the van, rolling from
side to side, and every now and then, a set of big ones! Stuff was
rolling around and curtains were swaying a
foot from the vertical! But the worst of it was over within 4 hours,
and we dropped off to sleep in our virual
hammock, and had a surprisingly comfortable night.

We woke in the morning (Day 7!!) to glorious sunshine, smooth sea, and
only a gentle roll, which by now we were
quite used to.

By 4 in the afternoon we were docking in the northern Turkish port of Zonguldak.

Being last on, we were first off - having to reverse backwards down
the ramps, and be chocked up to prevent the
van grounding due to the steep angle. No problem!

Then of course we had to do the whole admin security visa passport
customs thing all over again, only this time
in Turkey!

It was a bit of an epic, but not really entertaining, so I'll spare
you the details, and be brief.

We got the narco dog treatment, dog seemed more interested in the
front tyre that had been pissed on, although
it showed a passing interest in the drinks cupboard. This answered my
question, just how much can these dogs
smell, becasue although we are always clean crossing borders, my van
has seen more partying than average, so
there are bound to be traces in its nooks and crannies. Answer, not
much. Either that or the dog is just for show, and the handler is
trained to look for panic!

Then they refused my internet arranged insurance documents, and we
couldn't re-insure locally for 3 days, so
faced with us parking outside the customs office for 3 days, they let
us through.

They didn't take credit cards as promised, so they bunged me in a taxi
to go milk atm's in the town.

But I must praise them all again on the Turkish side, strong, a pain
in the arse, but courteous and eventually friendly.

By time it was all done and dusted we were exhausted. But in Turkey.
We grabbed a meal in the first restaurant
and fell asleep in their car park.

Motorhoming on the high seas!

I've been on lots of ferries - Dover Calais many times, Hull Rotterdam, Spain to Morocco and back and even the long one from Portsmouth to Bilbao.

But nothing compares to this!

Normally you roll up, hang around for an hour or so, and then drive on the ferry. It departs on time, and you spend your time eating crap food and avoiding hordes of school trip kids.

In Ukraine, you spend half a day trying to find the port entrance, and half a day retying to find someone who can advise you. Then you come back the next day, to be told that the next ferry is in 2 or 3 days, maybe!

3 days later you get a call asking you to come in to the office........where an admittedly very helpful Turkish buy called Hakim, in fluent Russian, tells you that the ferry is due "soon", and we can go "no problem". He says it will cost $700. $500 for me and the van, and $200 for Luda as a passenger. He wants the $200 now, and we can pay the rest of the Turkish side (it's a Turkish company) Hmmmmm.........

Everything is "No problem"! I ask for a receipt, and a confirmation of the cost. Once we are on the other side, it's a fait accompli ...... they can charge us anything!

Hmmmmmm..........we get neither!

So now I am in panic mode, and struggling to get my point across, as Luda is quite shy being caught in the middle, translating. So we have a brief conversation in English and I decide there's no point in stressing out. It is the way it is, so we go with the flow.

We are now into day 5, and finally we are in the docks. About 200 heavy artic lorries, mostly with Russian and Turkish plates, and us. We asked the security guard how many camper vans he sees - the answer, amazingly was "Nyiet". He had never seen a camper van come through this port. It's 99% trucks, and the odd car or bus.

The ship when it finally appeared is a 1979 vintage Ro-Ro (Roll on, Roll off) Italian built vessel, callled the Cenk Y, registered in Panama.

We sat in the docks wondering what to do next. Hakim, bless him, turned out to be a diamond geezer. He kept us updated, and told us that we would be literally last on the boat.

Now I sort of knew what to expect on a Turkish 30 year old truck ferry, it wasn't going to be pretty (and I was right), so we pleaded with Hakim to put us on the top deck, in the fresh air, and let us live in the van. An unusual request, given that they don't get any campers on this route. He said he would see what he could do, and talk to the captain.

We all know that it absolutely forbidden to stay in your vehicle on the car deck, but I guessed that the majority of the truckers would be sleeping in their cabs, regardless of the rules.

But first we had to get through security.....we'd already had fun getting into Ukraine, and we knew it would be fun getting out. We sat there for a whole day, watching the truckers having their lorries searched, and some of them were even being turned away.

By now it was dark, and we were tired and hungry. But finally we were waved forward. This time we were completely clean, not a whiff on anything even remotely illegal. But it's not just smuggling or stuff they are after, they are looking for the tiniest excuse for a "fine". I'm not saying theyare totally nasty corrupt, just very very thorough. They didn't know what to make of my UK paperwork, and kept asking for "vehicle passport".....finally it transpired that this meant my driving licence. They needed to check that I was licenced for a vehicle over 3.5 tons -we weigh 4.2. Then came the search. Luda got the usual third degree about illegal drugs, then they wanted to see any medical drugs we have. Well I have a box full!! So I presented him with about a Tesco carrier bag full of pharmacy drugs. I tend to hoard stuff. I had Chinese herbal remedies, painkillers and stomach bug stuff from Thailand, and many left overs from my travels. Turns out he was looking for stuff that is over the counter in other countries, but prescription only in Ukraine. Clever bastard! Luckily I had copies of all my prescriptions from the UK, so he gave up after half an hour.

Then they wanted to look in all the cupboards.....as if we would hide stuff in cupboards!!

Then they found our didgeridoo!! Well that raised a few eyebrows, but sort of broke the ice....they all had a go (thanks guys we'll clean it later!) and you know the noise a Dig makes when you don't know how to do it. Sort of like a high pitched musical fart. So merriment all round.

I could sense the moment the chief decided there was nothing down with us, and then it was all polite conversation, and smiles. They were friendly and professional.

But they can't have been really serious!! I have a top box on the roof that is perfect for a stowaway. I don't think thye even saw it! I had already checked it since a fellow traveller told me after my Morocco trip, that when they got back to Spain, having crossed from Morocco, they stopped for fuel, and were amazed to see a guy emerge from their top box and leg it off into the Spanish countryside as fast as his legs could carry him! The contents of the box, were of course gone. Mine contains patio furniture.....but I always check!

True to his word, Hakim himself came over and boarded us himself. Up the ramp we went to the top deck, where they had kept us a space, right next to the side of the ship. Yippee, fresh air and a sea view! Next to us is a black Moldovan Land Cruiser with the obligatory blacked out windows, and a single Ukrainian Toyota, that contained a family of 4 with 2 small girls - god knows where they are staying, but I wouldn't be surprised if they are being well looked after in a crew cabin somewhere. They looked knackered, they were checked in front of us and were literally taken to pieces by the same customs guys who played our digeridoo!!

Then.....nothing happened, we were still in dock 3 hours later, everything ashore deserted, everybody gone home. The ship fully loaded, and just sitting there. By this time it's at least 6 hours after departure time.

So I jumped out of the van and picked my way through the trucks, to the superstructure at the front, where the bridge and cabins and facilities would be. As I sort of expected I found a bunch of Russian and Turkish truckers watching football on TV and getting either pissed (Russians) or drinking tea (Turkish)..... Rangers were beating some local team 1-0 in the Champions League. Glum faces all round. The saloon was basic but OK. We were told there were no passenger cabins, but I did see a small sign saying "cabins". It was cool to wander freely throughout the whole ship. Eventually I found a guy that could speak english and he told me that the reason we weren't moving was the weather. Puzzling - the weather was lovely and calm!! "Maybe tomorrow!"

So we cooked dinner and went to bed.

This morning, day 6, we awoke to the sound of throbbing engines and gentle movement. Hooray, we are on our way!! The ship had stayed in port all night, and had set sail at about 10 am.

Wrong! We sailed for 15 minutes, the pilot boat picked up the pilot, and sailed straight across to another ship. This was the other boat that sails this route, and it needed the berth. We stopped and dropped anchor, all the time the sea getting bigger and bigger.

So I went on the internet and checked out the forecasts. Would you believe it, the first of the winter weather systems was tracking right across the Black Sea from west to east.

A phone call to Ludas son in Odessa, over to the west, confirmed that it was howling there, and according to the charts, heading our way. So the Captain has anchored us in the lee of the land, and here we stay, wallowing, until the system passes through, which according to the charts will be about 12 to 18 hours. The wave heights are predicted to be 3 meters and the winds only about 20 knots, but the weather would be beam on to the ship, which is sailing north south.

A friendly deck hand, who was busy chaining my van to the deck - I had to remove all the hub caps, simply said...."weather no good, ship very heavy, maybe tomorrow"

This got me thinking!! A quick Google revealed that this ship is registered at 6000 tonnes deadweight. It is 150 metres long, and has 2 decks with trucks 6 abreast. It took me 30 seconds with a calculator to work out that it is carrying at least 9000 tons of trucks, and I bet lots of them are overloaded. Every single one of them is chained to the deck, no wonder it took a day to load!

We live in a commercial world, and there is less regulation over here...........Hmmmmm

But this boat has been operating this route for 15 years, the captain knows his stuff, the crew are scruffy but competent, and I have had a damn good look at the general state of the ship and its lifeboats. All seems well maintained and in order.

So we are sat on a 30 year old rusty overloaded ship, wallowing at anchor about 3 miles out to sea, waiting for the weather to clear so we can trundle safely across the Black Sea. Every time the boat wallows, the van rocks the other way on its suspension, we both fear sea-sickness. Sat on the loo this morning in an enclosed space.......not pleasant! Just writing this blog has made me queasy.

The voyage is slated to take 18 hours.......and we have to offload and go through the whole process in reverse on the other side, and deal with Turkish customs!

I reckon it could be another 3 days!! And this voyage is roughly equivalent to Hull Rotterdam, which takes 18 hours from driving on to driving off!!

But the view is stupendous, and I bet our "cabin" is better than the Captains. We have food and drink for a week, internet access (for now), a bag full of duty free......and if the toilet gets full..........over the side it goes! The fish will re-cycle it.

And if we really get bored we can always get pissed with the Russian truckers.

Bacon butties and extra-terrestrial communication....

I kid you not!

This piece is actually going to weave these two very different concepts together.....maybe even for the first time ever! I have a sort of anoraky love of conceiving sentences that may never ever have been uttered by any human being, ever. It's actually quite difficult, because a. there are 6 billion of us, and b. we've been around for a while.

I can't be totally confident in this particular case, because Manchester, where I come from, is the home of the bacon butty, and also to one of the most famous scientific campuses in the world, and of course just down the road we have Jodrell Bank, the grand daddy of all radio telescopes, and still one of the biggest in the world.

Well right now I am sat within a few kilometres of one of its Soviet era buddies. It is called the Yevpatoria RT-70, and it also is one of the biggest radio telescopes in the world.

Like most things Ukrainian, it hides it light under a bushel. We didn't even know it existed until an hour or so ago. Unlike Jodrell Bank, which is a major tourist attraction in it's own right, RT-70 just sits there on the coast, just outside Yevpatoria, which is yet another past its sell by date Soviet era cheesy seaside resort. It also has the distinction of being the only place left in Ukraine that has a working ferry connection across the Black Sea to Turkey.

As an aside, it has been an object lesson in how out of date Google can be......if you Google for a Black Sea ferry, you get plenty of hits. It has taken us a frustrating week to finally find a ferry, and Yevpatoria is the only place!

So having arrived 2 days ago, and sat in the docks waiting to see if they could squeeze us on to yesterdays boat...they couldn't, we are now waiting for the next one, which may be Monday, or Tuesday..... However we are such an oddity wherever we go, we are treated extremely well. They will call us and tell us when to go back to the docks, and we are guaranteed a nice place on deck. It's basically a cargo ship that takes mainly lorries and only the odd car or tourist.

So having sorted all that out this morning, we now have a few days to kill, and were recommended to drive a few k down the coast where we would find a long deserted beach where people and vans can wild camp in peace and quiet.

But before then we needed a shopping trip.

Shopping in Ukraine is fun! Half the stuff on the shelves is self explanatory....like pasta, bread and cheese etc. The rest is completely alien. I shudder to think what it's like in a chinese supermarket!

I've been travelling long enough to forget about trying to source equivalents of what I like back home. It's basically a daft idea. So I eat what the locals do, and take my chances. Random food is fun, and Luda is a fussy vegetarian, so I get to try all sorts! A favourite snack out here is strips of dried fish in packets, much like crisps back home (which also exist here, but in weird flavours - I had red caviar flavour crisps the other day). It's an acquired taste, in fact it has taken me just about the entire stay here to summon up courage to try it, because boy oh boy, does it smell iffy.

But once you start to chew, it's certainly flavoursome. Lot's of tempting smutty double entendres spring to mind......

But every now and again I get the urge........to the point of obsession.....and today it just had to be a bacon butty. I must have been dreaming about it or something last night.

So I carefully selected bread and ukrainian pork, in the hope of assembling a reasonably authentic bacon butty. Of course the whole thing would have been a non starter without the magic ingredient - HP sauce, but being a well organised chap, I've been jealously guarding a quarter of a bottle for such emergencies.

We also stocked up on all of our favourites that we have discovered in the last few weeks, in what was quite the best ukrainian supermarket we have been in so far. They even took Visa, and the machine didn't spit it out contemptuously, like it does most of the time.

So suitably stocked, and now salivating copiously, both of us, Luda having found a couple of her own personal favourites. Off we trundled to find the recommended beach, which we did no problem. There's even another camper van here - a Swedish one, that makes 7 we have seen in as many weeks!

But what we didn't expect was this magnificent engineering edifice to heave into view, getting bigger as we approached. Not only is there the RT-70, but about at least another dozen or so lesser RT's.

At first I thought it was ex-soviet cold war hardware, of which there is tons and tons. We have seen that many radar golf balls, you would think Crimea was a cosmic scale pitch and putt!

The choice of pork and bread proved to be a good one, and within 15 minutes I was munching away on a very acceptable bacon butty, with Luda munching on a cheap supermarket sushi set, the Black Sea on one side, and fields on the other, and the RT-70 looming over it all.

Surreal!

So surreal in fact that I fired up the laptop to see if I could find out more - not expecting to as I have already found it very hard to Google stuff in Russian. However it turns out that the RT-70 is quite famous. It has the distinction of not only being one of the worlds largest RT's (which are basically just big dish receivers) but also had the worlds most powerful transmitter as well.

It is basically a planetary radar - it transmits high power radio waves and then analyses the echos. Wow!

Then I read that it regularly transmits digital information about the human race in the direction of specific star systems that the scientists believe may have planets capable of supporting life.

Double wow!

So here I am munching a bacon butty, while saying HELLOOOO! to the universe! Phew, got there in the end!

Triple wow!

The Wikipedia link is here,

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yevpatoria_RT-70_radio_telescope

And here is a picture.